My predictions for 2009

Since everyone else is doing it (yes, if they all jumped off a cliff, I'd do that, too), here are my fearless predictions for the coming year:

• Apple will release a new or upgraded device and everyone with an Apple ID will rush out to buy it while the rest of the world wonders what the big deal is.
• Spammers will increase the volume of unsolicited commercial email they send out.
• A nationally-known politician will be involved in some sort of a scandal.
• A Hawaiian will become President of the USA.
• Yahoo!, AOL, and Microsoft will continue to wonder what they can do as Google increases market share. One of them will buy something.
• Some investors will lose large amounts of money on the stock market, while others continue their losses.
• Some newspapers will stop producing print versions, while others will stop altogether.
• Someone will build a car that runs on beer, and people will beat the crap out of him or her for it.
• Astronomers will discover and name a significant new object beyond the borders of the solar system.
• A very cute animal will be born at a zoo, and we'll all be bored after weeks of seeing its picture every day.
• Verizon will open up its FIOS service to an additional 240 new homes.

Yeah, well, there you are. Have a blast with that, and be safe.